I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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