My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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