We won't sleep together?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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