Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
