YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
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