I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize