I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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