we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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