This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
