i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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