We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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