I think my vagina is haunted
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
