My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
my poor anus
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
