Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
