I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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