Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
