It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
