I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Farmville is her only friend.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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