He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
