Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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