we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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