its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
