So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
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