Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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