Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
