I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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