shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
