How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
