I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
This is my gift to your gina
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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