I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
