walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
