I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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