Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
