i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
This baby is an asshole
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
