You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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