i barfeds in our rink
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
