Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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