I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
