the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Even my vagina gasped.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Randomize
