At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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