I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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