we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
