I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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