Will you blow on my dice?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
