I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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