I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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