If that was your dad, he is hot
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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