So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize