It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I am naked and annoyed.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
