proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
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