Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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