Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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