I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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