i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
