Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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