whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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