$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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