I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
