Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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